20 Reasons Why Texas Sucks

With College Football right around the corner, fans are dying to see their teams get back on the field. One team we’re not too excited to see, obviously, the Texas Longhorns. With 20 days left until football season, enjoy our list of 20 Reasons Why Texas Sucks.

  1. The fans think that the world revolves around Texas. Like seriously Texas makes quite a bit of money, and that is it, nothing else.
  2. Texans feel they are on a higher platform than everyone else. They have four national championships, pretty far down on the list, nothing special.
  3. All their pride goes into a giant statue that, believe it or not, burned down.
  4. Two words define Longhorn fans. Arrogance and Ignorance. You try to have a civilized conversation, it turns into “Well our school generates more money. Also we beat you a lot when helmets were not invented.”
  5. Sooner fans are much louder. Anyone who has been to OU Texas knows that the Crimson drowns the Burnt Orange, cheering wise.
  6. Bob Stoops dominated them. 11-7 head to head. Two of the series biggest wins, 63-14 in 2000, and 65-13 in 2003. That isn’t all, most of his wins happened to be blowouts.
  7. Always hearing “we’re back!” from every Texas fan you know. Dude you’ve supposedly been back for seven years now. I don’t know how much longer one can go 5-7 and expect to be back the next year,
  8. They lost to Kansas. In football. If that isn’t alarming, I don’t quite know what is.
  9. Most teams like to brag about their on field performance, not Texas, they brag about EVERYTHING else. Examples would be money generated, boosters, draft picks… wait, not even that anymore.
  10. How many national titles has Texas won in football or basketball in the last 45 years? 45 years! One. And if were still counting, in the past 21 years of Big 12 football, Texas has won TWO Big 12 titles. Impressive, right?
  11. Vince Young went to “school” there.
  12. Their spirit song… “The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You” It’s just really creepy and annoying. There are so many better spirit song options, yet this one had to be chosen.
  13. Their band has wildly outperformed their football team on the field for 7 years in a row. Don’t get me wrong, that band is clicking on all cylinders. Hats off to them.
  14. Texas has now lost to OSU four times in a row,  AT HOME. Nice job, Cowboys.
  15. They love to praise a mascot, that is a live cow, that is put to sleep every game by their on field performance. Even though old Bevo fell into a permanent sleep, I’m intrigued to see what new cow is resting on the sideline next year.
  16. Two words, Longhorn Network. Can it get any worse? Re-runs of the “glory days” with next to nobody tuning in. I would like to see how much money has been lost over that TV Network.
  17. Oklahoma has absolutely owned Texas since they decided to add helmets and pads to the game of football. “But we own the all…”, come on man, the rest of the world can see the disaster you call a football team. Have fun on the downward spiral.
  18. Last season, CBS Sports compiled their ranking based on the top revenue sports. Texas football and Men’s Basketball totaled a whopping 0 points. Now that, my friends, is hard to do.
  19. Most of the fans didn’t attend the university… could’ve picked a more exciting team to cheer for but thats none of my business.
  20. Again, in football, the Texas Longhorns lost to the Kansas Jayhawks. There it is again for those who couldn’t hear it the first time.


Article by Ross Lovelace and Anderson Inman


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